The Amityville Horror (2005)

Directed by Andrew Douglas. Starring Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jesse James, Chloë Grace Moretz, Jimmy Bennett, Philip Baker Hall, Rachel Nichols. [R]

Reynolds, new wife George, and his step-kids move into a house that was the recent site of a gruesome mass murder where the father snapped and killed his entire family; what are the chances that some supernatural force is going to make history repeat itself? Upgrades in technology and production values compared to the original horror melodrama may please fans (they must exist somewhere, since there were eight previous films in the Amityville series), but this is just another bargain-bin retread stuffed full of haunted house and possession movie clichés—how hard does the mom need to be convinced to finally leave?? While going loony even faster than Jack Nicholson did in The Shining, Reynolds chooses to lean into the sardonic wiseacre vibe he’s known for, and he’s just as funny here as he was in Van Wilder (i.e., not at all). Meanwhile, Hall brings an old pro gravitas to his role as a priest who becomes convinced of the evil lurking within the house, but Rod Steiger’s hamminess in the original seems more appropriate for all the ludicrousness afoot. Reynolds’ character’s real-life counterpart (George Lutz) was in the process of suing the studio over changes made to the “true” story without his input or consent when he passed away in 2006. Co-produced by Michael Bay; Moretz’s film debut.

28/100