Eragon (2006)

Directed by Stefen Fangmeier. Starring Ed Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory, Robert Carlyle, Garrett Hedlund, John Malkovich, Djimon Hounsou, Gary Lewis, Alun Armstrong, Chris Egan, Joss Stone, (voice) Rachel Weisz. [PG]

Depressingly derivative sword & sorcery yarn finds an orphaned farm boy (Speleers) “destined” to become a dragon rider when an egg lands in his lap one day. In no time at all, the hatched beast is fully grown and ready to spirit the bland hero off on a grand adventure, with a seasoned mentor (Irons), a princess in need of saving (Guillory), and a lone rogue warrior on hand to be flashy yet unflappable (Hedlund); if those Star Wars similarities aren’t convincing enough, consider how much dark wizard Carlyle resembles Emperor Palpatine towards the end of the movie. Any chance of it being a familiar-but-fun fantasy mash-up (à la Willow) disappears quickly, since it’s also generic, lifeless, weakly-acted, flatly-directed and entirely uninvolving. Scenery looks nifty at times, but the dragon design is anything but easy on the eyes, with weirdly human characteristics on the face and mouth, and Weisz’s unsuitably lovely voice coming out of it via awkward telepathy. The opportunity for paycheck-cashing Irons and Malkovich to ham it up is squandered as well—can’t it at least be bad in a fun way? Based on a book by Christopher Paolini, written (not surprisingly) when he was a teenager.

27/100