Fast & Furious (2009)

Directed by Justin Lin. Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, John Ortiz, Gal Gadot, Jack Conley, Shea Whigham, Michelle Rodriguez, Liza Lapira, Laz Alonso, Sung Kang, Tego Calderón, Don Omar. [PG-13]

After sitting out a sequel or two, Diesel and Walker are re-teamed as hunk-of-clay Dominic Toretto and scratchy-wooden-plank Brian O’Conner (call ’em Argil n’ Poplar!), both out for justice/vengeance against a vaguely nefarious Mexican drug lord. The series was running on fumes by the time they “got the old gang back together,” but the production team knew how to craft a loud, sleek machine of populist stupidity, full of fast cars, barely-concealed backsides, substandard CGI, and lots of gravelly proclamations about family, loyalty, and chumps being busters. You get what you expect, but the high-octane chases being reduced to ones-and-zeroes so often is disappointing, as is an instantly forgettable villain who’s less threatening than a Geico agent holding insurance claims on all the wrecked candy-colored imports. Not the worst the franchise had to offer, but its technique is more competent than supercharged, and in hindsight, it acted as little more than a transition between the street-racing outlaw dopiness of the previous films and the gargantuan heist/superspy outings to come.

43/100