Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Tohoru Masamune, Minae Noji, Whoopi Goldberg, Abby Elliott, Taran Killam, (voices) Johnny Knoxville, Noel Fisher, Alan Ritchson, Jeremy Howard, Tony Shalhoub. [PG-13]

Live-action reboot of the venerable franchise (created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird) about a quartet of, well, the title gives it away. Here, they’re plugged into the been-there-done-that scenario of reporter April O’Neil (a badly miscast Fox) investigating strange goings-on involving the rise of a criminal organization called the Foot Clan and the mysterious, pizza-loving vigilantes trying to stop them. Overblown and overproduced action/effects extravaganza is devoid of wit and charm; any occasional clever idea, gadget or gimmick is steamrolled by garish photography, whiplash editing, and bleary direction. Never really had a chance to begin with, thanks to the truly ghastly creature/character design of the anthropomorphic turtles, but an abundance of chaotic action scenes (as cartoonish as anything from the TV show) and tiresome banter/wisecracks make it downright painful to endure at times. Should surprise no one when Michael Bay’s name shows up as one of the producers.

24/100