Sahara (2005)

Directed by Breck Eisner. Starring Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penélope Cruz, Lennie James, Lambert Wilson, William H. Macy, Glynn Turman, Rainn Wilson, Delroy Lindo, Patrick Malahide. [PG-13]

A franchise non-starter that brings the adventures of Clive Cussler’s larger-than-life hero, Dirk Pitt (McConaughey), to the big screen. He’s a treasure hunter searching for Confederacy gold in Mali (yes, it sorta makes sense when they explain it, so long as logic is ignored) when he gets swept up in the activities of a pretty World Health Organization doctor (Cruz) investigating a “plague” and a civil war being waged between a brutal general (James) and the Tuareg people. Plenty of action, but it’s of the uninvolving variety; comic book personalities defeat the serious undertones of its conflicts, and the filmmakers treat it all as escapism. McConaughey looks the dashing part but there’s no earthiness or pathos to be found; as his partner-in-crime, Zahn seems a bizarre choice to be playing an ex-Navy SEAL, but he’s just there to be a kooky sidekick, so…; Cruz merely serves as noble eye candy. The script feels like it was hammered together out of incompatible spare parts, which leaves room for stuff like Rainn Wilson acting as, ahem, relief comic relief, and a throwaway shot of the heroes “land yachting” a wrecked airplane across the desert. Could’ve been mindless fun, but more often is simply mindless. At least the scenery is nice to look at.

50/100