Avalanche Express (1979)

Directed by Mark Robson. Starring Lee Marvin, Linda Evans, Robert Shaw, Maximilian Schell, Horst Buchholz, Mike Connors, Claudio Cassinelli, Joe Namath, David Hess, Kristina Nel. [PG]

Feeble excuse for an espionage adventure of a Soviet general (Shaw), defecting to the West and traveling by train across Europe, who becomes the target of Russian spy hunters led by Schell. Familiar formula stuff with hardly any conviction, suffering from erratic and unexciting action scenes, dated effects, and stale ham performances—you know you’re in trouble when ex-NFL quarterback Namath isn’t that much worse than anyone else onscreen (he’s barely in the thing anyway). Marvin mumbles through it all as the CIA team leader, and he gets to share a “romance” with the perpetually-stiff Evans; when they kiss, they don’t even generate enough heat to make the icicles start to drip. Final film for Shaw, who was visibly ill at the time of filming before suffering a fatal heart attack towards the end of the production; nearly all of his lines were (badly) dubbed. Director Robson also died before filming was finished, with Monte Hellman stepping in for a few days of uncredited work to finish the shoot.

33/100