King Solomon’s Mines (1985)

Directed by J. Lee Thompson. Starring Richard Chamberlain, Sharon Stone, Herbert Lom, John Rhys-Davies, Ken Gampu, Bernard Archard, Shaike Ophir. [PG-13]

H. Rider Haggard’s “lost world” novel is updated (and bastardized) into an Indiana Jones-style adventure, chock full of cliffhangers and wisecracks. Chamberlain is the indefatigable Allan Quatermain, Stone his plucky dope of a love interest, Lom and Rhys-Davies their fiendish pursuers (more fatuous than menacing, the both), the fabled King Solomon’s Mines of Africa their destination. Slapdash entertainment of a low order and filmed on the cheap like most Golan-Globus productions. Aims to be tongue-in-cheek, but the humor isn’t nearly sly or subtle enough for that distinction; the action and characters are often so silly that the film resembles a Mel Brooks spoof. Bad as it is, at least it’s not boring…for a while (shifting in the seat will probably set in around the time they come across a third tribe of natives), and laughing at the screen is the best defense against its relentless preposterousness. Followed by an even worse sequel (Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold) filmed concurrently with a different director and even lower budget.

27/100