Rambo III (1988)

Directed by Peter MacDonald. Starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Sasson Gabai, Marc de Jonge, Spiros Focas, Kurtwood Smith, Doudi Shoua, Randy Raney. [R]

Colonel Trautman (Crenna) once again calls upon his old unstoppable ally, this time to aid Afghani rebels fighting back against a Soviet incursion, but Rambo is too busy helping out Buddhist monks in Thailand by beating the snot out of people for money (you know, the Buddhist way). So Trautman goes in alone and gets captured within literally two minutes of screentime, meaning that Rambo’s gotta change his tune and go on a rescue rampage…as if that was ever in doubt. Slight improvement over Part II by being overall less insulting and more laughably ridiculous; certain parts are as dead-on parody as anything in Hot Shots Part Deux, notably Crenna’s dialogue. Brainless, predictable and jingoistic, but made with enough competence and efficiency to please less-discriminating fans of over-the-top action who want to see a tank play chicken with a helicopter. Single-handedly met and exceeded the explosion quotient for Hollywood’s entire calendar year, but where else was all that money going to go?

48/100