Black Dog (1998)

Directed by Kevin Hooks. Starring Patrick Swayze, Randy Travis, Gabriel Casseus, Graham Beckel, Brian Vincent, Meat Loaf, Charles S. Dutton, Stephen Tobolowsky, Brenda Strong, Lorraine Toussaint, Rusty DeWees. [PG-13]

Dumb action flick where generically-named hero Jack Crews (Swayze), an ex-con truck driver with a revoked license, is hired by shady Beckel to drive a load of bathroom fixtures (toilets) from Atlanta to New Jersey; Crews knows that something’s not on the up-and-up about the job, but he needs the cash to keep a roof over his family’s head. Along for the ride is, among others, an aspiring country songwriter played by actual country songwriter Travis; trying to stop him is, among others, a Bible-quotin’, coupon-clippin’, bolo tie-wearin’ baddie played by Loaf (Meat Loaf, that is). Meanwhile, away from the main action, the bickering between FBI agent Dutton and ATF agent Tobolowsky is so childish, it’s surprising that they’re not seen full-on making out by the end of the movie. Aside from a few good vehicular stunts and the cheese factor, nothing here is likely to rev anyone’s engine; as for the meaning of the film’s title, if you don’t know, don’t ask.

35/100