Rollerball (2002)

Directed by John McTiernan. Starring Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Paul Heyman, Rebecca Romijn, Naveen Andrews, Oleg Taktarov, Janet Wright. [PG-13]

Incoherent and illogical junk remake of a movie that was no great shakes to begin with (and therefore, actually worthy of a contemporary reimagining). Set in the very near future instead of a dystopian era, the thin story again involves the star player (Klein) of the titular savage sport coming to the realization that the corrupt powers that be are using the game for their own ruthless gain; instead of sating the lower class and reinforcing the elitist bubble, however, it’s all about owner and promoter Reno getting big ratings and signing that “North American cable deal!” With all the brutal chaos and disjointed storytelling on hand, it’s a numbingly atrocious experience, containing hardly a whiff of social commentary, and enlivened only on a few occasions when it’s sheer awfulness becomes embarrassingly funny (Reno’s over-the-top performance certainly qualifies). Consider how the filmmakers decided to make the game more complicated than the one in the original film…but they make no effort at all to explain just what the heck is going on at any point; maybe that stuff ended up on the cutting room floor, as it’s obvious that the final edit had been hacked to pieces. Wall-to-wall LCD hard rock music gets old quickly, and with one key extended sequence shot through a “night vision filter,” not even the eyes are spared the horrors. One of those LCD hard rock groups, Slipknot, “cameos” through a digitally-inserted performance; pop star Pink can also be briefly spotted. An R-rated version was released onto home video.

6/100