Last year, I watched, reviewed, rated and ranked all of the theatrical animated films produced by Walt Disney Studios, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Strange World (it was a few months before Wish was released). This year, I’m tackling all the movies from Pixar Animation Studios…which is a subsidiary of Walt Disney Studios, so…call it a “requel”? Then again, everything is a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company these days. 20th Century Fox, Marvel, ESPN, Lucasfilm…your mom could probably claim Disney as her parent company and I’m not even trying to be insulting.
I discussed my young experiences with classic ‘toons in that ranked Disney feature, but I don’t have any childhood nostalgia for early Pixar like I do for numerous Disney animated movies—I was a teenager by the time their first feature-length film was released. I also don’t have a lot of moviegoing experience with their stable of movies since I don’t need more than one hand to count the number of Pixar pics I bought tickets to see in a theater. This has less to do with my tastes and/or the perceived quality of the films than it does my personal experiences in the theater watching them: time spent among noisy, unruly children being poorly supervised by their parents. (This was especially unnerving when I went and saw Incredibles 2, as the experience was pretty much ruined by the little ones’ lack of decorum and the big ones’ lack of discipline; since it means I’d be completely missing a chunk of the movie, I’ve never complained to a manager in the middle of a screening before, but I came real close that day.)
With the so-called Disney Renaissance trending downward as the 90s wore on, Pixar quickly established itself as the new leader in American feature animation. The 2000s was a mostly dreadful time for the Mouse House’s lineup of theatrical animation, but Pixar flourished, dropping one critically-acclaimed and audience-loved winner after another. But all good things must pass, and their creative team’s storytelling skills diminished, bosses demanded more sequels and rehashes than true originals, and priorities changed from pleasing crowds to checking boxes. I applaud the push for diversity and inclusivity, but I wish they’d make those themes more organic to the stories and characters instead of either the heavy-handed point of everything that happens or meaningless wallpaper to induce self-congratulatory back-patting.
Following their peak years, Pixar hasn’t so much gone stagnant than become inconsistent, as much so as Disney’s official lineup in the last decade-plus. Once a near-guarantee for high-quality, family-friendly animation/storytelling, now a crap shoot. Disasters are very rare, but in the aftermath of those precipitous heights still lingering in the memories of anyone past the threshold of adolescence, a mediocrity or flawed mess is disappointing enough to feel like one. What about the latest Pixar release, Inside Out 2? (The one that inspired the timing of this latest Cinecaps ranked feature series.) And where do the other 27 Pixar movies stand? Let’s not get distracted by tumbling red curls or shiny new space rangers or short-term memory loss or furry transformations or monologuing or—squirrel! …and find out.
These ranked reviews are, of course, presented in reverse order, so we’re getting the lesser movies out of the way first. Nine today, nine tomorrow, and the top ten on Sunday. As always on Cinecaps, I rank them purely based on the scores I gave each one independent of comparison to one another; only tie scores require me to choose a preference in direct competition.
Cars 2 (2011)
Directed by John Lasseter. Starring (voices) Larry the Cable Guy, Owen Wilson, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, John Turturro, Eddie Izzard, Thomas Kretschmann, Joe Mantegna, Peter Jacobson, Bonnie Hunt, Bruce Campbell, Jason Isaacs. [G]
Cars sequel nudges Lightning McQueen off to the shoulder so Tow Mater, that rusty tow truck with the grating voice of Larry the Cable Guy, can get in the fast lane. Yep, he becomes the star of the show when he follows best bud McQueen out of Radiator Springs to racing competitions on the world stage and gets mistaken for a super spy by British automobile agents voiced by Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer (love interest alert…sigh). Even if you or your kids are amused by Mater’s antics, a little of him goes a long way, and it’s the same thing over and over again: Mater’s got a tiny brain but a big heart (or whatever passes for brains and hearts inside of rustbucket recovery vehicles). The story in Cars worked off a flimsy formula, while this one is inconsistent, disorganized, and flat as a tire on the wrong side of a spike strip; in fact, the plot would be hard to follow if anyone cared to try, but why bother? Although filled with sleek colors and distracting flash, the animation is a downgrade from Cars (and almost every other Pixar movie from the last couple decades or so) and the designs are dull for anyone who doesn’t find cars, even in faintly anthropomorphized caricature form, sexy as hell. With its recycled visuals, unappealing hero, weak story, and not a single truly funny joke or sight gag, let’s hope this will forever be the studio’s biggest feature-length blunder. Most of the recurring characters from the original movie appear only briefly; because of the voice actors passing away between films, George Carlin’s “hippie” van is now voiced by Lloyd Sherr and Paul Newman’s Doc Hudson doesn’t appear at all and is suggested to have driven off to the big parking garage in the sky (cars have limited lifespans in this world—have fun explaining that one to your kids).
36/100
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
Directed by Peter Sohn. Starring (voices) Raymond Ochoa, Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand, A. J. Buckley, Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, Stee Zahn. [PG]
Strange premise, ineffectual execution. In an alternate version of Mesozoic history, dinosaurs “do agriculture” (farming, cattle herding, etc.), and after tragedy strikes a family of sowing n’ seeding Apatosaurus, the runt of the litter, Arlo, must shed his timid and cowardly tendencies during a long journey home with a feral human child “pet” called Spot—what, is this a prequel to “The Flintstones”, Planet of the Apes reversal-style? Realistic and gorgeously animated scenery clashes with boring, cartoon-y character design (even the dinos from those Land Before Time movies had more interesting physical features), while the callow hero’s journey narrative and unappealing protagonist distance the audience from the action rather than draw them in. Since no care was put into explaining why the world is the way it is—I can’t tell if the dinosaurs are actually speaking English to one another or if it’s just translated from their own communication of growls and screeches and honks and whatnot, and, seriously, how did they learn how to grow crops??—it’s just a grab-bag of formulaic story beats, pandering contemporary humor, simplistic messaging, and predictable conflict resolutions. Lacking the spark of inspiration, there doesn’t seem to be any purpose, care or enthusiasm put into this derivative project; released the same year as the vastly superior Inside Out, was this a rush-job for Pixar and/or parent corporation Disney, or did it get stuck in development hell with too many chefs seasoning the pot? Original story concept by Bob Peterson; he was also initially attached as director.
39/100
Elemental (2023)
Directed by Peter Sohn. Starring (voices) Leah Lewis, Mamoudou Athie, Ronnie del Carmen, Shila Ommi, Matt Yang King, Catherine O’Hara, Ronobir Lahiri, Wendi McLendon-Covey. [PG]
For a story inspired by the director’s real-life experiences as the son of Korean immigrants living in the Bronx, this straightforward allegory is frustratingly predictable. The narrative is as unimaginative as the world-building—see, all the elements are, like, living things, and they, you know, live together in a big city that pretty much just looks like a regular city, but it’s full of element-based visual puns and stuff—dressing up loads of opposites-attract and racial/nativist intolerance tropes in cutesy anthropomorphic fire & water “gags”. Romance sparks (or soaks?) between a fire element and a water element, which displeases the fire family while the water family is more outwardly welcoming…so fire represents conservatives and water represents liberals? What are earth and wind then? Are its symbolism and story beats really this formulaic? Although the technical animation is in line with Pixar’s high level of craftsmanship, the character design is unappealing, and worse, the leads aren’t a match to root for—I rarely think about chemistry between non-human animated characters, but these two don’t have any. (And, no, I’m not talking about their literal chemistry, although I want to know how these two will ever be able to be physically intimate with one another, and Pixar doesn’t have the guts to give us the graphic details.) Soft, bland and boring, with a pleasing but obvious and heavy-handed message, so both the adults and the kids can catch up on a little sleep while it plays. Director Peter Sohn earns co-story credit along with the three recognized screenwriters: John Hoberg, Brenda Hsueh, and Kat Likkel.
40/100
Cars 3 (2017)
Directed by Brian Fee. Starring (voices) Owen Wilson, Cristela Alonzo, Chris Cooper, Nathan Fillion, Armie Hammer, Larry the Cable Guy, Bonnie Hunt, Lea DeLaria, Tony Shalhoub, Kerry Washington, Margo Martindale, Guido Quaroni. [G]
Champion racecar Lightning McQueen finds his success and stardom threatened by a newer, faster and more technologically advanced rookie rival; unable to keep pace, it may be time to be put out to pasture (or, I dunno, get stored away in a garage?). More likely, it means it’s time to get some outsider-minded tutelage from a “new school” trainer and the old crew chief of his mentor, Doc Hudson. Third installment in the Cars series may be a slight improvement over the borderline-unwatchable part two, but it’s perhaps even more unnecessary—it exists solely to make money, a good chunk of that coming from the relentless merchandising of these car characters as toys and the like. Commerce is the name of the game in this fictional world as much as the real world, after all, so it should come as no surprise that sponsorship plays a small but important role in how the plot plays out. But that stuff won’t hold interest for a young audience, suggesting the filmmakers are aiming more intently at older viewers with a dedicated interest in automobiles and professional racing, but will they respond to the juvenile humor and utterly predictable narrative track? I found the script/character fundamentals to be tiresome, and the visuals surprisingly ordinary for the Pixar brand—sometimes cute, sometimes flashy, but nothing close to fresh, innovative or groundbreaking. Less of Larry the Cable Guy’s Mater is a good thing, to be sure, but the new batch of cartoon cars are an uninteresting lot: McQueen’s trainer has a personality as generic as her never-too-late-to-chase-that-dream arc, and Armie Hammer’s voice performance as McQueen’s rival is strangely monotone for being the new hotshot on the scene. Old recordings of Paul Newman’s voice are used sparingly so Doc Hudson can be heard again. John Lasseter, director of the previous two entries and the studio’s most vocal champion of the franchise, is credited as an executive producer.
43/100
Onward (2020)
Directed by Dan Scanlon. Starring (voices) Tom Holland, Chris Pratt, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Octavia Spencer, Mel Rodriguez. [PG]
Pixar again indulges in one of their lazier habits: inserting the fantastical and the imaginative into the mundane and the familiar. In this case, a world of elves, centaurs, manticores, and other assorted mythic creatures replaced “old school” wizardry with technology many years ago and…turned into a facsimile of the real world, right down to the narrative and character tropes of an angsty teenager trying to fit in, wondering about the deceased father he never knew, dealing with his embarrassing older brother, etc. The elven youth is gifted a magical staff which allows him to resurrect Dad for a limited time…but only the legs, so a quest is plotted by his impulsive, no-account bro to recover a rare gem and complete the transformation. Uninspired from start to finish, only a few very mild laughs squirt through the deadening predictability of every formulaic story beat and evolution in the central character relationship. Since the closest the movie comes to manufacturing an antagonist is time itself, the filmmakers desperately conceive a cursed quasi-dragon for the frenetic yet dull climax, but it’s far too late by then—we already know the real treasure was the friendships made along the way (the reforged bond between siblings, to be specific). The voice casting wastes the talents of Julia Louis-Dreyfus (the kid’s mom) and Octavia Spencer (an excitable tavern owner), and as heard from the big brother, it’s starting to become clear that Chris Pratt’s dim, flavorless everyman approach (as previously heard in the two Lego Movie’s) is simply what he does regardless of the voice role, so, erm, bring on Mario and Garfield! Among the few film’s highlights are the allusions (mostly throwaway visual gags) to past Pixar movies and other high fantasy properties like “The Lord of the Rings” and Dungeons & Dragons.
46/100
Cars (2006)
Directed by John Lasseter. Starring (voices) Owen Wilson, Bonnie Hunt, Larry the Cable Guy, Paul Newman, Michael Keaton, Tony Shalhoub, Michael Wallis, Cheech Marin, John Ratzenberger, George Carlin, Richard Petty, Guido Quaroni, Jeremy Piven, Jenifer Lewis, Paul Dooley. [G]
In a world where automobiles have apparently evolved to the point of becoming the dominant “species”—or, more likely, a world where they always were—arrogant rookie racecar Lightning McQueen thinks his exhaust don’t stink but gets a hearty slice of humble pie (er, what do cars eat exactly?) when he gets stuck in the sleepy, forgotten hamlet of Radiator Springs off Route 66. He needs to get to the coast to compete for the Piston Cup, but not before paving a road he damaged…and making a few friends and learning a few lessons and yada yada yada. Cars go vroom but the paper-thin story stalls out, and the characters and voice performances aren’t lively enough to overlook those tiresome qualities. Sure, racing-enthusiast Paul Newman’s participation is welcome, but he’s stuck with such a stereotypical “grizzled mentor” role, it never gets past that welcome stage; McQueen says “Ka-chow” a lot as if expected to take off as a catchphrase, but the entire character arc is mapped out before he gets off the racetrack in the opening scene. Those racing scenes are slick and zippy, animation-wise, but considering the freedom of the medium, little is done to make the sequences visually innovative or dramatically gripping (they’re no more exciting than the stock car races from the Will Ferrell comedy, Talladega Nights). After six successes in a row to kick off Pixar’s rapid ascent to dominance in the feature animation game, this first chink in the armor (er, dent in the fender?) isn’t off-putting, but unless you’re enamored with “car culture”, too little grabs and holds attention, and I frequently found my mind wandering toward figuring out how things work in this auto-realm. For instance, when cars fall in love, do they fornicate and birth “baby cars”? Do they build their progeny in factories? How can they handle complex and fine-tuned actions like cleaning out the inside of an exhaust tip or playing a piano? How did they first build the tools needed to extract the natural resources used in their creation? I could go on, but I’ll instead just note how, although I was bored with the story and disinterested in the main characters, I was amused by some of the clever details seen either briefly or playing around the edges of the frame (e.g., insects look like tiny VW Bugs). Director John Lasseter and Pixar’s “pit crew” clearly love their motor vehicles: reduced critical and financial returns hardly demanded it, yet the movie spawned two sequels.
50/100
Turning Red (2022)
Directed by Domee Shi. Starring (voices) Rosalie Chiang, Sandra Oh, Ava Morse, Hyein Park, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Wai Ching Ho, Tristan Allerick Chen, Orion Lee, James Hong, Sasha Roiz. [PG]
13-year-old Mei lives under the thumb of an overbearing mother and conceals her true personality and frivolous interests from the woman—a fangirl obsession with a boy band called 4*Town, in particular. One morning after a freakish nightmare, a change comes over Mei which is probably too obvious to be called a metaphor: Mei’s body transforms into that of a large, anthropomorphic red panda, and even after turning back into a young teenage girl, the “beast” can be unleashed all over again anytime she experiences powerful emotions. The first full-length film from the director of the delightful Pixar short, Bao (and featuring a fluffy firefox, to boot), should have been right up my alley, but it never connected. It doesn’t have the storytelling economy and elegance of Bao, instead belaboring its message and overextending the plot as too many lesser films from the animation studio do, and the animators somehow made one of the most adorable creatures in the Animal Kingdom a non-threatening fuzzy ogre with unappealing facial features who is seen at one point doing what can best be described as a “warm up” to twerking. There may have been intent behind this design decision since “body changes” are awkward and unattractive, but the writers also made Mei herself (regardless of form) into someone who’s, at best, a lot to take, and at worst, off-putting…but maybe 13-year-old girls watching will identify with the protagonist’s overexcited selfishness? As much as it is an allegory on puberty, it’s also a mother-daughter story with the child rebelling against the overprotective parent and the parent overreacting to said rebellion, and while this aspect plays out safely yet satisfactorily, it’s a little late for Mei to be having a heart-to-heart with her dad just before undergoing a life-changing ritual when the dad rarely registered as anything more than a background character up to that point. With the faddish behavior of Mei and her two-dimensional friends, and a soundtrack cluttered with boy band harmonies and Beyoncé needle drops, I realize there will be a receptive audience for this material and I’m not it, so I grudgingly recommend it for those who would be, but there are also a lot of fundamental flaws in its storytelling and character design/development which make the movie hard to appreciate as a diverse, rounded, brightly-colored coming-of-ager for young and old alike. Original score by Ludwig Göransson.
52/100
Lightyear (2022)
Directed by Angus MacLane. Starring (voices) Chris Evans, Peter Sohn, Keke Palmer, Taika Waititi, Dale Soules, Uzo Aduba, James Brolin, Mary McDonald-Lewis, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Bill Hader. [PG]
The promising premise behind this Pixar sci-fi adventure, spun off from the Toy Story franchise, is spelled out right at the top: “In 1995, a boy named Andy got a Buzz Lightyear toy for his birthday. It was from his favorite movie. This is that movie.” Trouble is, it’s hard to believe that Andy would have really loved this movie. Strange as it may be, this movie tries too hard, form-fitting the usual family film life lessons into an all-too-conventional story with time-bending elements that may be too convoluted for impressionable youths. There’s not enough retro whiz-bang idealism, cheap thrills, interplanetary exploration, and clear good vs. evil conflict—the stuff of kid-centric escapism to sell toys and breed lifelong fans. Ignoring that failure to deliver upon expectations, the movie does what it does with passable execution: a handful of gentle laughs, some fleeting enthusiasm, adequate characterizations, pleasant but unspectacular visuals, etc. The “Buzz Lightyear” brand might as well have been slapped on with a sticker, however, considering the differences in the character, tech and “lore” between this pic and the Toy Story movies; not only is his nemesis, Zurg, a pretty tepid antagonist here, but according to Toy Story 2, isn’t he supposed to be Buzz’s dad?
55/100
Monsters University (2013)
Directed by Dan Scanlon. Starring (voices) Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Helen Mirren, Steve Buscemi, Joel Murray, Charlie Day, Dave Foley, Sean Hayes, Peter Sohn, Nathan Fillion, Alfred Molina, Tyler Labine, Aubrey Plaza. [G]
Genteel and unambitious prequel to Pixar’s Monsters Inc. shows how Mike Wazowski (Crystal) first met Sulley (Goodman) as college students, initially as rivals and then as reluctant fraternity brothers competing in the university’s “Scare Games.” Amusement and charm are present, however mild, but the routine story is so predictable and the feel-good message so facile, it never comes to life like a Pixar movie should. Even though Buscemi reprises his role as the sinister Randall, he only becomes resentful at the end; in his place, the closest the movie comes to supplying an antagonist is a group of smug “frat bros” and a strict dean (yawn). While the original could be enjoyed by viewers of all ages, this one is aimed almost exclusively at the little ones, which is surprising considering that the collegiate setting encourages a mature edginess (there are hardly even any sly winks to adults). Bland, but if the exam is pass/fail, it still squeaks by.
58/100
Check back tomorrow for the middle nine!
Cinecaps Digest 
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