The Mod Squad (1999)

Directed by Scott Silver. Starring Giovanni Ribisi, Claire Danes, Omar Epps, Josh Brolin, Richard Jenkins, Dennis Farina, Steve Harris, Michael Lerner, Sam McMurray, Bodhi Elfman. [R]

The filmmakers of this late-60s/early-70s TV show adaptation have so much contempt for the audience that they actually define the words “mod” and “squad” in the opening text, then proceed to characterize the “small group of people” (squad) as anything but “stylish…alienat[ed]…modern” (mod); instead, these kids mostly just strut in slo-mo, goof off, seethe with angst, bicker like children, and screw up a lot. Further insults to intelligence include the repeated practice of having the bad guys just stand around talking about the illegal stuff they’ve done and are about to do for the benefit of the eavesdropping heroes, who are supposed to be delinquents-turned-undercover-cops, but they’re not undercover for long, and a lot of their enemies happen to be (shocker) dirty cops. The autopilot story is ostensibly updated for a contemporary age, but it’s still frustratingly old-fashioned—check out the lengthy chunk of the film where the two male squad members hit the streets to do a little sloppy investigating while Danes is stuck obsessing over bad-news ex-boyfriend Brolin (and she gets more upset to learn that he’s sleeping with other women than the fact that he’s a criminal scumbag). So lazy that even the characters comment at one point about how clichéd it all is (that’s, like, meta, right?). Eddie Griffin cameos, as do two of the original “Mods” (Clarence Williams III & Peggy Lipton).

22/100