Sixteen Candles (1984)

Directed by John Hughes. Starring Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Schoeffling, Haviland Morris, Paul Dooley, Gedde Watanabe, Carlin Glynn, Edward Andrews, Billie Bird, Liane Curtis, John Cusack, Darren Harris, Max Showalter, Debbie Pollack, Blanche Baker. [PG]

Hughes’ coming-of-age directorial debut is considered a minor teen movie classic in some quarters, but its inconsistent tone, outmoded attitudes, and a surplus of broadly irritating supporting characters make it an acquired taste of mortifying embarrassment and chintzy humor that frequently breaks continuity. Portrait of an “invisible” sophomore beauty (Ringwald) suffering a series of personal and social disasters on her sixteenth birthday has some isolated clever moments and a winning breakthrough performance from Ringwald, but it’s too fatuous to fully touch the heart and too witless to consistently tickle the funny bone. And making “cute” jokes about Asian stereotypes and date rape should have been considered too tasteless even in 1984 (wait…same year as Revenge of the Nerds…scratch that, I guess). When it comes to the small handful of grounded characterizations, Schoeffling is a dud as the dreamboat that makes the heroine weak in the knees, but Dooley finds humanity within the “clueless dad” cliché. As expected from Hughes’ 80s teen-centric output, there are several choice soundtrack cuts. Numerous recognizable faces and soon-to-be-stars fill out small roles, including co-star Cusack’s sister, Joan.

45/100