Laws of Attraction (2004)

Directed by Peter Howitt. Starring Julianne Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Frances Fisher, Michael Sheen, Parker Posey, Nora Dunn, Brette Taylor, David Kelly. [PG-13]

Moore and Brosnan go slumming in this insultingly bland and formulaic rom-com (even by bland and formulaic rom-com standards), cast as high-powered divorce lawyers who square off in the courtroom before inevitably ending up in bed together. See, she’s uptight and career-oriented, while he’s laidback and slobbish, and, well, ain’t they a pair? The two of them are seen clashing in so many proceedings via montage that one wonders if they’re the only divorce attorneys in all of Manhattan; if you think it’s tiresome watching them flirt-fight in and out of a courtroom, though, just wait for an extended stereotype-laden sojourn to Ireland where they accidentally get married—begorrah bejaysus bleurgh! Is it a 90-minute sitcom pilot, or three entire seasons of will-they-or-won’t-they “excitement” crammed into an hour-and-a-half? Either way, the visual identity, hacky acting, and execrable writing are all at the level of really bad television—change the channel.

26/100