All the King’s Men (2006)

Directed by Steven Zaillian. Starring Jude Law, Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, James Gandolfini, Patricia Clarkson, Anthony Hopkins, Mark Ruffalo, Kathy Baker, Tom McCarthy, Jackie Earle Haley. [PG-13]

Aseptic adaptation of the Robert Penn Warren Pulitzer-winning novel is far beneath the flawed-but-passionate 1949 cinematic translation, once again depicting the rise and fall of a rabble-rousing politician named Willie Stark (Penn), modeled off of Louisiana governor Huey Long. With all the heavyweights in the cast, it’s hard to fathom how they could all wind up being so ineffective, (metaphorically) sweating an unnatural amount while chewing on the coded language of writer/director Zaillian’s off-key, muddled script; Penn is especially labored in a showy but unnatural demonstration of scenery-chewing histrionics (and when he’s not trying to whip a crowd of “fellow ignorant hicks” into a froth, he just rumbles with a misanthropic growl). Moral tedium and stodgy visuals combine for defunct drama—don’t even bother showing up to vote, ‘cause there’s no putting this Humpty Dumpty back together again. Frederic Forrest makes a brief appearance in his final film role.

28/100