Metal Lords (2022)

Directed by Peter Sollett. Starring Jaeden Martell, Adrian Greensmith, Isis Hainsworth, Brett Gelman, Noah Urrea, Sufe Bradshaw, Analesa Fisher, Joe Manganiello, Phelan Davis, Christopher M. Lopes. [R]

Unpopular, heavy metal-obsessed high schooler Greensmith cajoles best friend Martell into forming a metal band (“post-death metal,” to be both precise and, well, inaccurate) even though Martell can’t play drums and barely knows anything about the genre. A socially-awkward classmate (Hainsworth) with mental issues has the skills they need to round out their sound, but Greensmith disdains her for being a girl, for playing an “un-metal” instrument (cello), and for becoming romantically-involved with his friend. The charms of this safely amiable teen seriocomedy are mostly located on the fringes and in the earnest acceptance of these outsiders, but D. B. Weiss’ screenplay is too beholden to the clichés, and the movie never establishes a consistent rhythm. One refreshing touch is in the characterization of the frontman (Urrea) of a different teen band, who never becomes a rival or enemy, and doesn’t even seem like a “dark side” temptation when he offers Martell a spot in his group. Committed drummers (or, really, musicians of all stripes) will probably find it infuriating that the film shows the protagonist go from rhythmically-incompetent to stage-ready in a matter of months. And how did the filmmakers find a way to squeeze in a cover of Imagine Dragons in a movie that claims to breathe and bleed metal? No devil-horns hand gesture for you! A handful of metalhead musicians make cameo appearances; one of them—Tom Morello—even co-wrote the tune the band plays during the climax (“Machinery of Torment”).

55/100