The Whole Ten Yards (2004)

Directed by Howard Deutch. Starring Bruce Willis, Mathew Perry, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollak, Natasha Henstridge, Frank Collison, Tasha Smith, Johnny Messner, Sione Faka’osilea, Silas Weir Mitchell. [R]

This is what it looks like when competent actors are completely left out to dry by writing so devoid of wit that it feels like a vacuum sucking up any mirth that the viewers brought with them; heck, even the title is lazy beyond belief. Sequel to The Whole Nine Yards reassembles its characters in a forced fashion—even clumsily manufacturing a way for Pollak to reappear (in a bigger but stupider role as the father of the mobster he played in the original)—and then allows them to flail desperately while trying to generate energy and chuckles out of the dead material. It probably doesn’t need to be said that they fail. One moment of interest: a frantic scene between Perry and Peet that serves as a reminder that they have the best rapport among the opposite sex characters (don’t bother hoping that the filmmakers rectify the imbalanced romantic couplings). The complete lack of interest from everyone involved even extends to continuity errors, of which several are glaring…unless we’re expected to believe that these people can’t even tell the difference between chicken and lobster.

14/100