Mannequin Two: On the Move (1991)

Directed by Stewart Raffill. Starring William Ragsdale, Kristy Swanson, Meschach Taylor, Terry Kiser, Stuart Pankin, Cynthia Harris, Andrew Hill Newman, Julie Forman, Phil Latella, John Edmondson, Mark Gray. [PG]

Oh, how the world didn’t need this. Instead of an Ancient Egyptian woman’s soul being trapped in a department store mannequin, this time it’s a thousand-year-curse put on a medieval peasant girl (Swanson) via a necklace that turned her into a wooden statue; enter Ragsdale as a descendant of the prince who loved her (fine, whatever), who removes the necklace in modern day Philadelphia, and here we go again! Bad enough when it resembles a really stupid screwball fantasy like the first picture, it also goes through a lengthy (and really stupid) fish-out-of-water comedy stretch, too. There’s a dopey prologue that makes Mel Brooks’ Robin Hood: Men in Tights look gritty, the movie’s internal logic is a mess, Taylor’s sassy/shrieking gay stereotype is abominable (he’s the lone holdover from the first Mannequin, and apparently has no recollection of those earlier events, if we could all be so lucky), and the music is so bad that trotting out that Jefferson Starship tune at the end is a relief! Regardless of properly lowered expectations, this sequel is stunningly bad (even the transitions are obnoxious), so thank goodness it flopped and no one tried for a third. Onscreen title simply says: Mannequin On the Move.

5/100