Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Directed by Michael Patrick Jann. Starring Kirsten Dunst, Kirstie Alley, Denise Richards, Allison Janney, Mindy Sterling, Amy Adams, Ellen Barkin, Brittany Murphy, Sam McMurray, Alexandra Holden, Matt Malloy, Will Sasso, Sarah Stewart, Laurie A. Sinclair, Michael McShane, Mo Gaffney, Nora Dunn. [PG-13]

Haplessly-executed mockumentary satirizing a local teen beauty pageant; Dunst and Richards are rival contestants (one is a good girl, the other a rich bitch), Barkin and Alley are their mothers (one is white trash, the other a scheming pageant organizer), Malloy is a perverted judge, etc. Obvious caricatures delivering obvious jokes targeting obvious topics/clichés. Assumes a soft approach, but without real affection for these walking punchlines, which means it’s either lazy or feeble (or both). A few of Janney’s cutting and sardonic remarks are okay, but the movie can’t even milk a real laugh out of a knowingly ill-conceived “love song” to a giant Jesus doll on a crucifix. Always a bad sign when a movie’s introductory text contains a typo (“A documentary film crew film was…”); also a bad sign when the pageant winner is announced around the 70-minute mark, meaning this thing is gonna keep dragging on for the better part of a half-hour. Rumored to have a small but loyal cult following, but Bigfoot is rumored to exist, too. Adams’ film debut; Adam West plays himself in a cameo.

23/100