Blood Feast (1963)

Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis. Starring Connie Mason, William Kerwin, Mal Arnold, Lyn Bolton, Christy Foushee, Scott H. Hall, Ashlyn Martin.

What is widely considered the first splatter movie ever made is also what Stephen King described as “the worst horror movie [he] ever saw”; it’s not quite as bad as all that, but it’s pure amateur hour throughout. A lunatic killer (Arnold) in charge of Fuad Ramses’ Exotic Catering—eager to offer customers a great Egyptian “Feast of Ishtar” (no need to ask what cuts of meat are being served)—is on a grisly murder spree, and it seems the only person who can thwart him is a middle-aged detective (Kerwin) who’s simultaneously making clumsy moves on a potential future victim (Playboy Playmate Mason). Acting is abysmal enough to earn bad laughs across the board, and the dialogue is quite possibly even more unnatural, but what makes it a tedious watch instead of a potential camp classic is the static and stilted presentation by director Lewis, which lends all the blood and guts on display the effect of revolting geek-show shocks with appalling continuity. Schlockmeister Lewis also photographed, composed the music, and earned co-story credit; it’s his voice on the radio, too. Followed almost forty years later by a sequel: Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat.

25/100