Planet Terror (2007)

Directed by Robert Rodriguez. Starring Freddy Rodriguez, Marley Shelton, Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Michael Parks, Tom Savini, Naveen Andrews, Skip Reissig, Bruce Willis, Nicky Katt, Carlos Gallardo, Quentin Tarantino, Stacy Ferguson. [R]

Gleefully over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek action-horror trash made with loads of style, buckets of blood, and plenty of exaggerated trope homages—a B-movie executed with A-movie awareness and instincts. A biochemical outbreak creates swarms of gooey, slavering zombies who start attacking the residents of a small Texas town, including a bisexual nurse (Shelton), her abusive and domineering doctor husband (Brolin), a smart-mouthed go-go dancer (McGowan), and her mysterious ex with a criminal past (F. Rodriguez). No scared cows to be found in this fast-paced gore-fest—what’s a rapist to do when his privates turn to slimy slop before he gets a chance to use ‘em?—nor are there any efforts to elevate the sub-genre (it doesn’t really matter what happens so long as gross, gnarly stuff keeps happening). At its best teasing the checklist of clichés: one-note interpersonal drama amid all the carnage, a gratuitous sex scene when danger is still on the doorstep, film reel scuffs and missing footage, running jokes (Fahey’s best BBQ in Texas!), sick jokes (“What’d I tell you, Tony? Don’t point the gun at yourself”), and so on. Overstays its welcome with a final act that doesn’t know when to quit—even the discharge of a laughably illogical machine-gun leg loses its goofy luster before long—but an exercise in exploitation excess could hardly go the artful, restrained route for the finale. Originally released in theaters in the U.S. as part of a double-bill with Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof (Grindhouse), while the two movies were released separately in extended versions in most international markets and, later, home video.

69/100