The Jazz Singer (1980)

Directed by Richard Fleischer & Sidney J. Furie. Starring Neil Diamond, Lucie Arnaz, Laurence Olivier, Caitlin Adams, Franklin Ajaye, Sully Boyar, Paul Nicholas, Mike Kellin. [PG]

If it didn’t work remaking a good movie into the world of rock n’ roll (A Star Is Born), it sure wasn’t going to work doing the same with a bad movie. The first feature-length (partial) talkie, 1927’s The Jazz Singer, isn’t modernized so much as transplanted to a new era; the clichéd narrative and character relationships feel so out of time and place, it borders on camp, much like Olivier’s embarrassingly sad schtick/accent as the protagonist’s father. The protagonist is played by far-too-old-for-the-part rock star Neil Diamond, who’s dismal as a dramatic actor, unengaging and prone to hitting the same tired note ad nauseum—he’s even a surprisingly stiff performer during the song numbers—and the ego-feeding character he plays cuts through hardship like a hot knife through schmaltz. May be catnip for undemanding fanatics of Diamond’s music, but I am neither undemanding nor a fanatic; having to sit through bookending renditions of cheesy rock anthem “America” is practically soothing compared to dealing with the four or five snippets of god-awful ballad “Hello Again” scattered across this bloated feature. And in case you’re thinking, “Well, at least we don’t have to shrink back in our seats at the sight of the hero in blackface the way Al Jolson played it in the original,” you would be sadly mistaken. It should also be noted that, despite the title, there’s less jazz in this movie than there is in Utah during an NBA away game. Director Furie was replaced midway through production by Fleischer, and went uncredited for his efforts.

24/100