D.O.A. Dead or Alive (2006)

Directed by Corey Yuen. Starring Jaime Pressly, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, Devon Aoki, Kane Kosugi, Eric Roberts, Steve Howey, Matthew Marsden, Natassia Malthe, Brian J. White, Kevin Nash, Collin Chou, Derek Boyer, Robin Shou. [PG-13]

It’s Charlie’s Angels meets Mortal Kombat (with a dollop of Enter the Dragon) in this inane, barely-coherent (story-wise and editing-wise) energy drink of a movie. Inspired by the video game of the same name (er, subtitle), a group of well-toned and tanned babes in skimpy attire attend a fighting tournament at megalomaniac Roberts’ lair, but the motivations and rules are so murky, all there is to do is ogle and laugh. Hyperkinetic and hyperstupid, it’s pointless to gripe about all the physics-insulting action and fight scenes chopped into a blur to cover up the fact that most (if not all) of these actresses were selected solely for how they’d look in a bikini, not for their skills as thespians or martial artists. The most talented of the lot, Pressly, acquits herself okay playing a paper-thin ‘Murican-girl stereotype, but Aoki looks and behaves dazed and confused throughout; Roberts hams it up as the baddie, but even he looks a little bored. U.S. release was delayed almost a year after the film premiered Down Under and rolled out through a number of international markets.

30/100