Fair Game (1995)

Directed by Andrew Sipes. Starring William Baldwin, Cindy Crawford, Steven Berkoff, Christopher McDonald, Paul Dillon, Jenette Goldstein, John Bedford Lloyd, Miguel Sandoval, Salma Hayek, Johann Carlo, Scott Michael Campbell. [R]

Baldwin’s Miami detective goes on the run while protecting a lawyer (Crawford) who’s been targeted by ex-KGB thugs; if this setup sounds even more familiar than usual for these kinds of empty-headed programmers, that’s because it’s based on the same book that was previously turned into the 1986 Sylvester Stallone vehicle, Cobra (the fact that this second try isn’t really any better or worse than that one should say it all). Impossible to take seriously for even one minute, at least the filmmakers know what the audience wants, delivering a string of chases and shootouts and explosions amid dialogue that always serves as either wisecracks/banter or exposition. Being Crawford’s Hollywood acting debut (and onlystarring role ever), she’s not asked to do much besides flaunt her sex appeal; the powers-that-be even manage to squeeze in a gratuitous sex scene on a train while the bad guys are still in close pursuit in a helicopter overhead. Technically competent, but never truly entertaining, and far too ludicruously illogical to just “go along for the ride.” Dan Hedaya makes an uncredited cameo appearance.

29/100