Men in Black II (2002)

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn, Tony Shalhoub, Patrick Warburton, (voice) Tim Blaney. [PG-13]

A shapeshifting alien arrives on Earth (choosing the shapely shape of a Victoria’s Secret model played by Boyle) on the hunt for the “Light of Zartha.” Men in Black’s Agent J (Smith) is on the case, helped out by his retired (and memory-wiped) partner Jones and a “close encounter” witness (Dawson) that he’s attracted to because…well, it’s Rosario Dawson. Nothing works in this clanging, uninspired retread—never a good sign when franchise fatigue sets in on the first sequel—without any of the freshness, style, wit, energy and charm that made the original more than just a special effects showcase. Not a single real laugh can be found (at best, a smile to see talking pug Frank wearing a suit), and the story is less interesting than even the lamest of alien creatures filling this world, including two-headed Knoxville, which is two more Knoxvilles than this movie can sustain. Rick Baker’s creature design and effects are about the only thing worth looking at here (but it still ain’t worth it). Cameos range from Peter Graves to Michael Jackson.

26/100