The Three Musketeers (1993)

Directed by Stephen Herek. Starring Chris O’Donnell, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt, Tim Curry, Rebecca De Mornay, Michael Wincott, Gabrielle Anwar, Hugh O’Connor, Julie Delpy, Paul McGann. [PG]

Disney’s rollicking, rambunctious take on the Alexandre Dumas adventure story is better than it has any right to be, so long as you don’t mind all the simplification and anachronisms on hand (or widespread lack of French casting/accents). O’Donnell is a lackluster D’Artagnan, but the other musketeers make up for it—brooding Sutherland, deadpan Sheen, hedonistic Platt—and the show is routinely stolen by the villains—sensuous turncoat De Mornay, raspy-voiced swordsman Wincott, and Curry’s deliciously flamboyant Cardinal Richelieu. The political maneuvering and castle intrigue doesn’t pay off in any sort of clever way since everything is “solved” by a big storm-the-palace climax, but the action and stuntwork are well-executed, there’s more than enough humor to cover up the gassy plotting (sometimes witty, sometimes cheesy, often broad and proud of it), and the costumes and scenery are great to look at. Giddy, lively, and satisfying—it’s what you want out of a mindless swashbuckling lark. Patterned off the box office hit Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves in numerous ways, including a broadly over-the-top heavy with a Michael Wincott “sidekick” and a cheeseball Bryan Adams pop-rock anthem on the soundtrack (“All for Love”, joined by Sting and Rod Stewart on vocals), so if you shamelessly enjoyed that one… Music by Michael Kamen (guess what movie he also scored a couple years earlier?). Paul McGann curiously plays two different minor roles: foppish chastiser Girard and Cardinal’s Guardsman Jussac.

73/100