Doomsday (2008)

Directed by Neil Marshall. Starring Rhona Mitra, David O’Hara, Malcolm McDowell, Adrian Lester, Bob Hoskins, Craig Conway, Darrin Morfitt, MyAnna Buring, Alexander Siddig, Sean Pertwee, Chris Robson, Leslie Simpson. [R]

Stick 28 Days Later, Mad Max 2, The Naked Prey, Gladiator, Escape from New York, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, The Warriors,and Aliens into a blender and you’re most of the way there in this ultra-derivative hodgepodge. In the not-too-distant future, all of Scotland has been quarantined behind a massive wall separating it from the rest of Great Britain in order to control the outbreak of a deadly virus; meanwhile, the southern side of the wall has suffered an economic collapse and descended into a dystopia. After the virus is discovered again in London, a small team led by no-nonsense Eden Sinclair (Mitra) is sent north over the wall to track down a researcher (McDowell) who was working on a cure before quarantine cut off all communication. The narrative road map and character details are practically growing mold, while the action is fast, frenetic, and often incomprehensible, photographed in grungy colors and low-definition flatness. As the lifeless, one-note hero, Mitra could be described as either “Kate Beckinsale understudy” or “Snake Plissken with a bra”, and she faces off against too many similarly shallow baddies, including Conway’s Ozploitation reject, O’Hara’s bottom-lining fascist, and Malcolm McDowell in the Malcolm McDowell role, stuck uttering dialogue like, “You brought impurity into this world…you must be cleansed.” I could make note of the surprising pop song cues, but they’re mostly just confusing (Siouxsie & the Banshees, Fine Young Cannibals, Frankie Goes to Hollywood…did the viral apocalypse arrive during the 1980s??). Written by the director, presumably while holding a stack of comics and a book of MadLibs.

38/100