Man’s Best Friend (1993)

Directed by John Lafia. Starring Lance Henriksen, Ally Sheedy, Fredric Lehne, Robert Costanzo, John Cassini, Trula M. Marcus, William Sanderson, J.D. Daniels. [R]

Clumsy reporter Sheedy breaks into an animal testing lab and emancipates a Tibetan mastiff, which turns out to be a very special canine. How special? He can open doors, flush toilets, headbutt windshields, outrun and jump over speeding cars, swallow cats whole, urinate acid, that sort of thing (in one throwaway scene, he even disappears into the background like a chameleon, but never again after that). Dopey comedy disguised as a killer-animal horror movie is neither unwatchable nor remotely gratifying. Chief misstep is letting the dog appear cute and cuddly until the final reel; the threat level is about even with an unchained Beethoven, not Cujo. Only Henriksen as the scientist who “created” the enhanced pooch seems to realize just how ridiculous it all is and acts accordingly. One of the taglines reads: “His bark isn’t half as bad…as his bite!” Oh, it bites, all right…

31/100