Chicken Little (2005)

Directed by Mark Dindal. Starring (voices) Zach Braff, Joan Cusack, Steve Zahn, Garry Marshall, Amy Sedaris, Don Knotts, Mark Walton, Fred Willard, Catherine O’Hara, Patrick Stewart. [G]

Lackluster animated feature suffers from one of the least original and creative storylines ever, ahem, hatched by the Disney animation wing. Inspired by the fable of Chicken Little, the scrawny bird who once cried, “The sky is falling!” is the town pariah when he swears outer space visitors are invading from above, and when no one believes him, he teams up with the Ugly Duckling, the Runt of the Litter, and the Fish Out of Water to save the day. In order for any of this frantic nonsense to work, you first need a plucky, likable hero, and you then need snappy dialogue and brisk action to cover up all the plot holes and derivative story beats that are evidently issued by major motion picture studio ordinance. However, Chicken Little is one dumb cluck, a nasal and hectic irritant who runs around like one of his species sans head, and all the business with the aliens and force-fed father-child themes have been seen dozens of times before, usually to far better results. Since the plot structure is ungainly and the storytelling devices are grating, the absence of good jokes and eye-catching animation makes it a dead zone for sensible adults, and I have a hard time believing little kids will be charmed by so much rattle and vapor. Did you ever think you’d see a Disney animated movie with crass “covers” of songs by Gloria Gaynor and the Spice Girls? (Better question: would you ever in a million years want to see a Disney animated movie with crass “covers” of songs by Gloria Gaynor and the Spice Girls?) A more traditional telling of the fable was produced as a short subject by Disney back in the 1940s, also called Chicken Little.

35/100