Three to Tango (1999)

Directed by Damon Santostefano. Starring Matthew Perry, Neve Campbell, Dylan McDermott, Oliver Platt, Rick Gomez, John C. McGinley, Bob Balaban, Patrick Van Horn, David Ramsey, Cylk Cozart, Deborah Rush, Kelly Rown. [PG-13]

Architect partners Perry and Platt are competing to design a new building for rich magnate McDermott, and when McDermott mistakes Perry for being gay (instead of Platt, who actually is), he entreats Perry to keep an eye on his mistress (Campbell). Staggeringly stupid and offensive comedy thinks that gay panic, homophobia, and stereotyping are the peak of high-concept comedy. Even ignoring that (a task that would inspire pity from Sisyphus), none of the characters are likable or relatable or work well with each other; cute Campbell comes closest, but nothing about the way she plays her character suggests that she’d ever willingly be anyone’s concubine, let alone one to a smug jerk like McDermott’s character. The filmmakers are so out of touch with reality that when Perry, while accepting a Gay Man of the Year award, proudly announces that he’s straight, the crowd reacts with a slow-clap building to rapturous applause. Compared to this fiasco, Will & Grace’s writing is a model of class and restraint!

9/100