Cursed (2005)

Directed by Wes Craven. Starring Christina Ricci, Jesse Eisenberg, Joshua Jackson, Judy Greer, Milo Ventimiglia, Shannon Elizabeth, Kristina Anapau, Portia de Rossi. [PG-13]

The “Scream team” of director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson reunite for this horror-comedy disaster, ruined (per consistent rumors) by interference from producers Bob & Harvey Weinstein. A high school kid (Eisenberg) and his older sister (Ricci, giving an awkwardly phony performance) survive an attack by a wolf-like monster, but he fears it was a werewolf, and soon they’ll each transform into one themselves. “Hip” jokes flop left and right, and there’s too much talk and self-aware chiding for anything suggesting scares or suspense to develop. One of those movies where the behind-the-scenes stories are more interesting than anything that ended up in the final, patchy, ultra-clichéd cut. Craig Kilborn, Scott Baio, and Lance Bass all cameo as themselves (and with that kind of dubious, instantly-dated lineup, heck, let’s throw in the band Bowling for Soup as themselves, too); singer Mya also has a small role, but she plays a fictional character.

29/100