Dutch (1991)

Directed by Peter Faiman. Starring Ed O’Neill, Ethan Embry, JoBeth Williams, Christopher McDonald, E. G. Daily, Ari Meyers. [PG-13]

Disaster-laden road trip comedy from writer John Hughes, cut from the same formula cloth as his earlier and much better Planes, Trains and Automobiles, where a working-class slob (O’Neill) picks up his girlfriend’s spoiled, obnoxious son (Embry) from a private school several states away to bring him home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Of course, they don’t get along well at all as they end up stranded and have to hitchhike and so on, but since one is hard to like (the crass jerk) and the other is easy to loathe (the stuck-up brat), spending time in their company is about as fun as talking politics at the Thanksgiving table with the whole extended family. Worse than the coarse humor and rough slapstick (ho ho, he got shot in the nuts with a BB gun!) is when cloying sentiment gets piled on at a few junctures in order to get the kid to finally lighten up and stop treating everyone like insects, especially the treacle-slathered stop at a homeless shelter. For his first (and only) starring film role, “Married with Children”’s Ed O’Neill deserved a better make-it-or-break-it vehicle. Embry went credited as Ethan Randall.

35/100