King Kong (1976)

Directed by John Guillermin. Starring Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, Jessica Lange, René Auberjonois, John Randolph, Julius Harris, Ed Lauter, Jack O’Halloran, Mario Gallo. [PG]

Dino De Laurentiis’ big-budget remake sets the action in modern day, and instead of a movie crew setting sail for an exotic locale and mysterious legend on the uncharted Skull Island, it’s an oil company executive (Grodin) believing the island sits stop a massive petroleum deposit. An environment-minded paleontologist (Bridges) stows aboard the ship, and they happen upon a blond ditz (Lange) out on the open sea, but that’s just killing time before we first see Kong emerge from the jungle and…disappoint. A rare case where the “real” (large-scale animatronics and Rick Baker in an ape suit) is phonier than the “fake” (the stop-motion effects of the 1933 original and the computer-generated images of the second remake from 2005), and the action spectacle is shoddier than both the other versions, too—no dinosaurs or giant insects in sight, just a bunch of natives and a big rubber snake. Jeff Bridges does so little of note, his bushy beard becomes his defining characteristic; Charles Grodin unconvincingly plays against type as a one-dimensional caricature of a bumptious grasper; and Jessica Lange embarrasses herself in her film debut…but considering the character and dialogue she was given, who could have come out smelling like roses? No magic, mystery or scares, just a clunky adventure with solid photography and music (from Richard H. Kline and John Barry, respectively), and Oscar-winning special effects that are inconsistent at best. Of potential interest only for undemanding completists, those who’ve never seen the other two versions, or for the novelty value of seeing Kong climb the World Trade Center instead of the Empire State Building and get attacked by helicopters instead of airplanes. Corbin Bernsen and Joe Piscopo have unbilled bit parts as reporters.

44/100