Link (1986)

Directed by Richard Franklin. Starring Elisabeth Shue, Terence Stamp, Steven Pinner, Kevin Lloyd. [R]

Advanced simian research undertaken by anthropologist Stamp goes wrong when one of his test subjects, a chimpanzee called Link, starts behaving aggressively and terrorizing, among others, a student assistant (Shue) staying at Stamp’s coastal estate. This monkey business is too goofy to work as a horror picture; perhaps aware of this, Shue rarely seems as concerned or frightened as she oughta be. I can appreciate Richard Franklin using real animals instead of stuntmen in suits or puppets, but trained chimps, while potentially very dangerous, simply aren’t terrifying in this kind of heightened scenario. There’s one good overhead shot in the house near the end of Link chasing Shue and her injured boyfriend, but that’s about all there is to remember, other than an assortment of bemused chuckles that presumably weren’t intended (um, should Link’s shouting at the very end been subtitled: “Made it, Ma, top of the world!”?). Funky, carnival-esque music by Jerry Goldmsith. By the way, Link isn’t even a real chimp—he’s played by an orangutan actor named Locke with dyed fur! Some international edits omit the totally unnecessary opening scene.

37/100