Shark Night (2011)

Directed by David R. Ellis. Starring Dustin Milligan, Sara Paxton, Joel David Moore, Katharine McPhee, Donal Logue, Chris Carmack, Sinqua Walls, Alyssa Diaz, Chris Zylka, Joshua Leonard. [PG-13]

Maddeningly dumb and dull pseudo-exploitation fare concerning a bunch of college kids vacationing at a saltwater lake that’s full of killer sharks. You want suspenseful set pieces and gruesome kills and a couple of good characters to root for? You get…none of that. Although pointless to criticize a mid-budget time-waster like this for poor story and character work, this script is inane by any standards,and the acting from nearly everyone is embarrassing (as the token doofus and baddie-with-a-badge, Joel David Moore and Donal Logue get passes…barely). It’s also the sort of movie that pushes content to the edge while teasing gratuitous gore and nudity, but never delivers on account of its PG-13 rating, so even fans of brainless shark-schlock are bound to be let down. Most of the film (including the climax) doesn’t take place at night, so the title is a sham, too. A shark movie without any bite whatsoever is just a waste of time, but if you must watch, you may or may not want to stick around through the end credits for a music video starring some of the actors (in character) that I presume is meant to be campy nonsense—it’s cringe-worthy, but at least it inspires some kind of reaction. David R. Ellis’ final film as director, best known for Snakes on a Plane and a couple of the Final Destination sequels.Originally screened in 3-D as, well, Shark Night 3D.

12/100