Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)

Directed by Martin Kitrosser. Starring Jane Higginson, Tracy Fraim, Brian Bremer, Mickey Rooney, Neith Hunter, William Thorne, Amy L. Taylor, Gerry Black, Van Quattro. [R]

Fifth Silent Night, Deadly Night movie is as disconnected from the previous installments as the last one was, with that entry’s director, Brian Yuzna, sticking around as a writer and producer; a few of Part 4’s actors reappear, too, including Clint Howard in another cameo, but none seem to be playing the same character. Here, Mickey Rooney (who was among the numerous angry protesters of the “Santa-slasher” original) plays the old toy maker of the title, Joe Petto, who runs a toy store with his weirdo son, Pino (Bremer), and if you can’t figure out the nature of their relationship with that information, I don’t know what to tell you other than: that guy at the mall in a red suit around Christmastime isn’t actually magical—sorry. Another warning: Joe might not be the kindly holiday presence you’d expect—this is a horror movie, after all—as his toys seem to have a life of their own and a sinister purpose, such as a centipede-like “Larry the Larvae” contraption that can crawl into your mouth and suck your eyes into your skull in the movie’s best bit. Despite a return to more prevalent Christmas theming virtually absent in the previous movie, this one is more reminiscent of theHalloween IIIstandalone and the Puppet Master movies—bizarre, dastardly plot to murder a kid with deadly toys—featuring more gratuitous sex than gore, loads of nutty plot developments and trite dialogue, all of which is directed with workmanlike indifference by Martin Kitrosser. It must be said that Rooney doesn’t phone it in, and Bremer is even more dedicated…to absolutely unhinged acting choices, that is, bringing oodles of camp value to his “plastic Oedipus” turn in the final act. Closed out the bonkers franchise once and for all…until a loose remake of the original slasher arrived more than twenty years later (Silent Night).

34/100