Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Directed by John Harrison. Starring James Remar, Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi, Deborah Harry, David Johansen, Rae Dawn Chong, William Hickey, Matthew Lawrence, Julianne Moore, Robert Sedgwick, Robert Klein. [R]

Anthology horror film spun off from the same-named television series created by George Romero, framed as a trio of stories told by an imprisoned child in order to delay a suburban witch (Harry) from eating him. The tales are based on adaptations of Japanese folklore and short stories by Stephen King and Arthur Conan Doyle: college students become the victims of a reanimated mummy, an old man hires an assassin to kill a cat responsible for deaths in his family, and a failing artist witnesses an attack by a gargoyle-like monster and escapes with his life only by swearing he’ll never tell anyone. Smartly cast and marginally interesting, but too self-conscious, with predictable payoffs, and nary a single really good scare or ironic twist. Really only for the ghoulish-at-heart who don’t have anything better to do. Julianne Moore’s film debut.

46/100