Nicholas and Alexandra (1971)

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner. Starring Michael Jayston, Janet Suzman, John McEnery, Tom Baker, Michael Redgrave, Roderic Noble, Michael Bryant, Harry Andrews, Brian Cox, Jack Hawkins, Stephen Greif, Richard Warwick, Martin Potter, James Hazeldine, Laurence Olivier. [PG]

This endless historical epic is a better sleep aid than Ambien, and makes other lengthy (and overrated) Hollywood period pieces depicting Russian history like Doctor Zhivago and Reds look like borderline masterpieces. As Russia’s last Tsar, Nicholas II, Michael Jayston is molded from wax, but hardly anyone onscreen smolders with fiery energy (how can a dynasty-crashing revolution feel so tedious?); even Baker’s over-the-top portrayal of Rasputin lands with a splat, ill-served by a screenplay that fails to make the crafty “madman” fascinating in any way. There’s lots of money onscreen, spent on fastidious costuming and set decoration, but no sweep, no stirring emotion, no sense of history being made before our very eyes. Although it picks up for about a half-hour or so after the intermission, there’s no excuse for such an interesting story to be told in such a dull, dry fashion. In Schaffner’s hands, the inevitable tragic demise of the Romanov’s summons no strong emotions aside from relief that the movie must finally be wrapping up. Won Academy Awards for (what else?) its costume design and art direction. Brian Cox makes his film acting debut as Leon Trotsky; look for other soon-to-be-recognizable names in small roles, like lan Holm, Julian Glover, and John Wood.

38/100