Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

Directed by Ben Wheatley. Starring Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Sophia Cai, Sergio Peris Mencheta, Melissanthi Mahut, Skyler Samuels, Sienna Guillory, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar, Felix Mayr. [PG-13]

Sequel to The Meg has three big ol’ prehistoric sharks in it, so you’d expect three times the toothy mayhem, but they’re just one part of the danger served up for our human heroes this time, which also includes a giant octopus with enough noodly appendages to impress the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a whole bunch of land-borne lizard-monsters, and human baddies engaged in an illegal mining operation way down there in the trench with the megs. The pace could really use a kick in the pants during the middle hour—an oxygen-deprived walk across the trench floor goes on forever because characters keep stopping to regroup, talk about what’s happening, and get closer to near-certain death—and character interest continues to run too low for the viewer to ever become invested in what happens to them (heck, the more fish food, the better). Returning “favorites” like Sophia Cai (less “adorable”, more “boring”) and Page Kennedy (an adjusted walking-stereotype who has learned to swim and fight since the last one…and also carries around a big handgun with, um, poison-tipped bullets?) aren’t much more sympathetic than a head-scratching traitor or two and a mercenary (Mencheta) who is just Pedro Pascal trying to look like Josh Brolin (or vice versa). Not much better or worse than the original movie for the first ninety minutes or so, but then it finally goes wild for the big sea-level finale as the good guys, the bad guys, a bunch of nameless beachgoers, and our man-eating foes go nuts chomping and thrashing and lobbing bombs at each other. Should there be a third one, more of that, please, and less of the dismal, dragging-around-in-the-dark stuff—know your audience! Back as cut-and-paste tough guy, Jonas Taylor, star Jason Statham earns the first executive producer credit of his career.

53/100