River Wild (2023)

Directed by Ben Ketai. Starring Adam Brody, Taran Killam, Leighton Meester, Olivia Swann, Matt Devere, Eve Connolly, Nick Wittman. [PG-13]

Although the end credits state it’s based on The River Wild (the 1994 movie starring Meryl Streep), this isn’t a remake, sequel or reimagining; just a ripoff of the general premise of a killer holding hostages while traversing river rapids. Siblings Killam and Meester go on a whitewater rafting trip in a small group that includes childhood friend Brody, who turns out to be a psychopath, and you see where this is going. There’s not a single exciting moment in the movie, not even when Meester’s rafting skills are put to the ultimate test during the climax, and director Ben Ketai has no handle on building, let alone sustaining, tension. The fuzzy relationships and generic performances don’t help, and as written and cast, the villain is more laughable than threatening (try not to break out in giggles when Brody comes at the good guys in a little kayak). Drab photography and confusing editing choices dampen any appeal this time-killer might have had as a panorama of backwoods/choppy river clichés. River Tame would have been a more fitting title, but those crafty marketing people must have known that’s a harder sell. With the former being grungy and de-glamorized and the latter being beefier and sporting a thick beard, Meester and Killam are barely recognizable from their best-known work on television. Ketai scripted with Mike Nguyen Le.

29/100