Xanadu (1980)

Directed by Robert Greenwald. Starring Michael Beck, Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly, James Sloyan, Dimitra Arliss, Matt Lattanzi, Katie Hanley, Melvin Jones, Ren Woods, Fred McCarren. [PG]

Outrageously foolish frivolity could be a camp fanatic’s dream come true; all others beware. Newton-John plays a muse from Ancient Greece who comes to Earth to inspire artist Beck; she roller-skates and sings a lot, they fall in love, the music pretty much never stops, same goes for the headache. The tunes are occasionally catchy (if garishly overproduced), and Kelly gets a couple of agreeable moments as a former big band leader—instead of singing in rain he’s slumming in vain—but there’s no story here, the excess is sheer overkill, and the stars (neither of whom can act a lick) have all the romantic chemistry of two tire-crushed possums baking in the sun. No one may be interested in things like plot, character and dialogue in a movie like this, but they probably do care about the musical numbers, and these are simply atrocious; the choreography is chaotic, the blocking and arrangements are amateur hour, and the uninspired camerawork is constantly misplaced (as if it was trying to hide how awful the production arrangements are). A rightful flop upon release, but it does contain a couple of hit songs that fared far better on the Billboard charts: “Magic” (written by John Farrar) and the title track (written by Jeff Lynne).

23/100