The Nativity Story (2006)

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke. Starring Keisha Castle-Hughes, Oscar Isaac, Shaun Toub, Hiam Abbass, Ciarán Hinds, Stanley Townsend, Shoreh Aghdashloo, Eriq Ebouaney, Stefan Kalipha, Nadim Sawalha. [PG]

Reverent yet dishwater-dull retelling of the miracle pregnancy of Mary of Nazareth (Castle-Hughes) and the virgin birth of Jesus. It’s a story that even non-Christians are likely to know front and back, so it’s reliant upon the filmmakers and cast to make the familiar feel vivid and dramatically moving, but all this crew can muster is a few ties to the tough realities of life under Roman law (e.g., the reminder that women who become pregnant by those other than their husbands are subject to punishment by stoning) and somber sincerity most everywhere else. Otherwise, it’s just the same basic narrative, stripped of feeling and joy, with an astonishingly lifeless Mary and a sign of dutiful disinterest from then-little-known Oscar Isaac as Joseph. Everything looks grey and washed out, but even if this was an aesthetic choice by the director to emphasize the harshness of the time and place, it fails to “set the mood” because the images are so flat and low-grade. Alexander Siddig cameos as the archangel Gabriel.

39/100