The Silencers (1966)

Directed by Phil Karlson. Starring Dean Martin, Stella Stevens, Daliah Lavi, Victor Buono, Robert Webber, Arthur O’Connell, James Gregory, Nancy Kovack.

First Matt Helm adventure on the big screen might be the most consistent of the four, but it’s still no good. Dino is Donald Hamilton’s secret agent…or, more accurately, Donald Hamilton’s secret agent is Dino, since Martin doesn’t act, he drinks a lot, he shambles around as if he’s discovering the details of the script at the same time as the audience, and he’ll put the moves on anything that jiggles. Helm takes on Victor Buono and the nefarious “Big O”—so inebriated is the hero, it’s doubtful he’s ever managed to give someone the “big O”—and he handles various gismos and girls along the way. Plodding, spoof-y, and as fatuous as Roger Moore’s 007 ever got, it never had a chance to compete with Connery and company. Nary a gag nor special effect sticks. Bond may have relied on this gadgets to get out of sticky situations, but the mileage Helm and “klutz with kleavage” Stevens gets out of coat button grenades and a backwards-firing gun in the last fifteen minutes is ridiculous. Cyd Charisse appears briefly. Followed later that same year by Murderer’s Row.

40/100