Hitch (2005)

Directed by Andy Tennant. Starring Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valletta, Adam Arkin, Julie Ann Emery, Michael Rapaport, Jeffrey Donovan, Nathan Lee Graham, Paula Patton, Robinne Lee. [PG-13]

Smith sells himself off as smooth-operating “date doctor” Alex “Hitch” Hitchens, who can help unlucky men woo the women they are interested in, his latest assignment being shy and awkward schlub James who pines for unattainable Valletta. Of course, when the professional ladies’ man meets a woman (Mendes) that he’s interested in himself, he proves as hapless as most of his clients. Pretty mild rom-com most of the way, with no better than tepid chemistry between either of the pairings and only a few scattered chuckles, but the final third is a near-disaster as the script forces its modestly likable characters to consistently do and say stupid things that are purely contrived to complicate the story and delay the inevitable happy ending. Too flimsy for its excessive running time (even then, it still shows signs of post-production reduction—Rapaport is shown to be a good friend of Hitch’s who disappears not long after he’s first introduced!), and it never makes a convincing case that Hitch’s technique should ever succeed in any sort of logical reality; this is as much a fantasy as it would have been if he was a contemporary Cupid feathering lonely-hearts left and right with his trusty bow-and-arrow.

37/100