Three O’Clock High (1987)

Directed by Phil Joanou. Starring Casey Siemaszko, Richard Tyson, Jonathan Wise, Anne Ryan, Brei Mitchell, Jeffrey Tambor, Liza Morrow, John P. Ryan, Caitlin O’Heaney, Theron Read, Charles Macaulay, Mitch Pileggi, Philip Baker Hall. [PG-13]

Dumb plotting and stereotypical characterizations sink this exaggerated John-Hughes-meets-Will-Kane concoction. Timid high schooler Siemaszko is given the unenviable assignment of interviewing the new kid (Tyson, looking way too old for high school), a big, bad bully who doesn’t like people touching him; no surprise, Siemaszko touches him and the bully challenges him to a fight after school at 3 pm sharp. Most of the movie deals with the protagonist’s efforts to get out of the showdown, with odd and uninvolving romantic interludes involving his “dream girl” (Morrow), his gal pal (Ryan), and even his English teacher (O’Heaney). Debut director Joanou, a frequent video collaborator with U2, tries to keep things lively with showy camerawork (no surprise, since Barry Sonnenfeld serves as the director of photography), but those efforts can’t hide a lack of good or original ideas; when the climax finally arrives, it’s less a relief from tightening suspense than a relief that the movie will soon be over. Tyson need only look formidable (which he does); Siemaszko is one of the more insipid teen heroes of the 80s sub-genre heyday. Executive produced by Steven Spielberg, but he had his name removed from the credits—can’t blame the guy.

33/100