Hook (1991)

Directed by Steven Spielberg. Starring Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Charlie Korsmo, Bob Hoskins, Julia Roberts, Dante Basco, Amber Scott, Maggie Smith, Caroline Goodall, Arthur Malet, Laurel Cronin, Raushan Hammond, Jasen Fisher, Isaiah Robinson. [PG]

What if Peter Pan did grow up, and worse, he became a boring workaholic who has little time for his own children and little interest (or belief) in fairy tales? Such is the premise of this lavishly-mounted but syrupy muddle of a family adventure, where that nogoodnik Captain Hook (Hoffman) kidnaps the children of Peter Banning (Williams), spirits them away to Neverland, and challenges his old nemesis to a showdown in order to get them back. Lots of effort was put into building a fantastical world, but Neverland’s two big sets (the pirate ship/harbor and the Lost Boys’ hideout) just look like colorful theme park attractions, and the characterizations and central storyline are too thin to forgive the bloated running time (and sentimentality is slathered on with a trowel throughout). Hoffman and Hoskins (as Smee) seem to be having fun playing over-the-top pirates, but Williams is never convincing as Pan (especially once he puts on green tights that would look silly on just about any grown man) and Roberts is hopelessly miscast as Tinkerbell. Fun to look at some of the time, and the juvenile humor will appeal to the young’uns, but this is proof that money can’t buy magic. Look for a slew of cameos, many of them hard to spot, running the gamut from Glenn Close and George Lucas to Phil Collins and Jimmy Buffet.

41/100