Doom (2005)

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak. Starring Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne Johnson, Robert Russell, Dexter Fletcher, Al Weaver, Raz Adoti, Deobia Oparei, Richard Brake, Ben Daniels, Yao Chin, Brian Steele. [R]

Ultraviolent, ultra-derivative (and ultra-dumb) sci-fi actioner set in a research station on Mars where a Marine squad blasts away at monstrous humans who have been mutated by a Martian chromosome (or something like that). Sketchily based on a popular first person shooter video game, it’s all exposition gibberish, jumps-from-shadows, and gratuitous flexing and grunting until the raison d’être, a five-minute sequence where suddenly the camera switches to a POV shot for some stalking-and-carnage action—though an impressive technical exercise compared to the mundane business surrounding it, without the keyboard/controller on hand to control the “gameplay,” it’s still a bit of a letdown (like going to a brothel and just getting a no-touch lapdance). Not a single character that anyone could care about (the script certainly doesn’t), and the gloomy, industrial trappings are third-rate knockoffs of much more entertaining programmers. Even undiscriminating genre fans will probably be bored; quite the apt title, no?

19/100