Hitman (2007)

Directed by Xavier Gens. Starring Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko, Robert Knepper, Michael Offei, Ulrich Thomsen, Henry Ian Cusick, James Faulkner. [R]

A professional hitman (Olyphant), known only by the number 47, is hired to kill the Russian president (Thomsen), and then is hunted by local police and his employer’s goons, as well as Interpol agent Scott. Instantly forgettable action pic based on a video game of the same name. It mangles leaden and inane dialogue with fill-in-the-blanks conspiracy thriller plotting, then stuffs in lots of incoherent and numbing violence (so, about what one would expect, just poorly done). Olyphant’s patented dangerous charisma is muted by the stoic confines of his non-character; he’s also simply a ridiculous concept—a shadowy assassin who’s supposed to go unnoticed, but his head is shaved down to the bright white skin, and there’s a big barcode tattooed on the back of it (who would ever notice that?). Tiresome from the word go, the filmmakers can’t even deliver on a four-way swordfight in an old subway station. Rebooted with a different cast and crew in 2015.

27/100