The Wizard (1989)

Directed by Todd Holland. Starring Fred Savage, Jenny Lewis, Beau Bridges, Christian Slater, Luke Edwards, Will Seltzer, Jackey Vinson, Wendy Phillips, Sam McMurray, Frank McRae, Steven Grives. [PG]

The year after McDonald’s and Coca-Cola teamed up to rip off E.T. (Mac and Me), Nintendo and Universal Studios joined forces to shove a 90-minute commercial down the throats of the youth of America. This advertisement is packaged in a laughably implausible (and kinda unsettling) story of a mentally-handicapped child running away to California, his slightly older brother (Savage) and a vaguely streetwise girl (Lewis) at his side; meanwhile, his mother barely cares enough to hire a sleazy creep of a bounty hunter to track the kid down, and the divorced father hops in a truck to eat donuts and play NES games (oh, and make a halfhearted attempt to find his boys, too). Utterly preposterous from the word “go” (or “Insert Coin”?), good only for the unintentional laughs (don’t try to get between Vinson and his Power Glove!); anytime someone decides to “get serious” and talk about their tragic back stories, whip out the Gameboy for a few minutes. Some may decide it’s fun to try and spot their favorite 8-bit games or a young, mulleted Tobey Maguire as an extra, but at what price? At what price?

28/100