Best of the Best (1989)

Directed by Bob Radler. Starring James Earl Jones, Eric Roberts, Phillip Rhee, Chris Penn, John Dye, Sally Kirkland, Tom Everett, David Argesta, Simon Rhee, Louise Fletcher. [PG-13]

Talk about a misleading title. This dopey martial arts time-killer is quite terrible, but periodically agreeable all the same. Jones acts as a veteran trainer for the American team that works hard for three months to take on the Korean crew (it’s mentioned once or twice that the discipline being used is Taekwondo, but no effort is made by the script to illuminate the background or technique of the fighting style). His team is composed of the usual grab-bag of clichés—a widower with a young son (Roberts), a fighter haunted by his brother’s death in the octagon (Rhee), a Buddhist who meditates a lot (Dye), a beefy hick with a short-fuse temper (Penn), and a guy that the screenwriters forgot to supply a personality to (Argesta). Roberts’ son gets into a serious accident just so papa can rush home to see him and nearly ruin his chance to compete, and the kid is there in crutches for the climax because, sure, why not? And who does Rhee face in the final bout? (If you guessed it’s the champion who killed his brother, you must have cheated for that answer, because there’s no way anyone could have seen that coming.) Kirkland also shows up as an assistant coach who looks and dresses like a second-string Shannon Tweed, but unfortunately, the mini-skirt and blazer never come off. Its value as dopey kitsch is deflated by mildly incompetent filmmaking craft—not nearly good enough to make the fights fun to watch, but not quite so horrendous that it becomes inadvertently hysterical—and that cornball ending absolutely is not earned. USA! USA! USA! Followed by three sequels, the first of which Roberts said he made as atonement for this one.

28/100